Jieke Pigu

Well, we'll start this post off with an update on Jayden's language skills - he may just have started a new slang term in Taiwan. His older brothers, to be fair, actually came up with the expression in the first place, which is a direct translation of the English expression, "Jackass." Jieke is the romanization for "Jack" and pigu is "bottom," "butt," "bum," "buttocks" "ass" - ah, the beauty of English to have so many synonyms. So, of course Taiwanese people hear jiekepigu and have no idea what it means. But to the foreigners who've heard it, it is both hilarious and infinitely useful.

I've been busy with classes since a week ago Thursday (9/14). My classes continue to be fairly popular which is both gratifying and exhausting. My Spanish class, for example has 60 students. It's enough for my brain to switch between Chinese, Spanish, and English for two hours but then to have to try to give individual attention to 60 people - I feel spread fairly thin sometimes. I guess I can't complain since I'm coming off a 2 month holiday, right?

I also got suckered into being the Feng Chia University Parliamentary Debate Team coach. Somehow, I just can't say NO to that kind of thing. Fortunately, the three students on the team not only have excellent English, but also are very dedicated to the cause. Being given three weeks to prepare for an international competition and the inherent potential for major loss of face which would be incurred by a poor performance, can be fairly motiviating, I guess.

Rudy started his English lessons this week. The other kids just shake their heads and whisper, "What the hell's that kid doing here?" when I come to pick him up. He is attending Hess Language School which was basically chosen for its close proximity to our apartment. If he could jump off the balcony, he'd pretty much land right in front of the school. He tested off their charts for his oral ability but his reading/writing level puts him in a level 7 (out of 10) class. "He doesn't seem to even know what an apostrophe is," the test administrator told me in a rather admonishing tone when she told me the results of his placement exam. I guess I'll just chuck that onto the top of the already teeteringly large pile of "Heather's short-comings as a mom."

My diet is going fairly well. After the shock of getting back here, stepping on the scale, and finding out I'd gained 3kg over the summer (plus the two I already had to lose to begin with). Those damn Dove bars...I've lost 2kg since we've gotten back and I've finally pretty much gotten over that awful sensation of my body devouring itself. It is a drastic modification to reach for a hard-boiled egg, a plain yogurt, or a banana instead of an ice cream.

Josh finally seems to be adjusting to his new school which is located on the Tunghai University campus. He comes home every day with a different kind of creepy crawly - today it was a grasshopper and a praying mantis. He apparantly caught a little snake today but thankfully didn't bring that back. Since there are cobras in the tall grass on the campus, I try to dissuade him as much as possible. Especially after the untimely demise of the Crocidile Hunter.

Jason and I are back to seeing each other for 10 minutes a day - just long enough to pass the responsibility for Jayden between us like the Olympic torch. Then, Jason comes staggering home bearing my nightly cup of ginger tea around 10:30pm and we chat for another 10 minutes before we both slip into unconsciousness. Since he leaves 15 minutes before I do in the morning to take Josh to school, I've taken to leaving him notes in Chinese for him to find upon his return. Good for my Chinese and one of the only ways we have left to communicate during the week.

That's all that's fit to tell and bedtime is fast approaching so, until next time, zai jian ni jieke pigu!

Dorcus Titanus Sika

We've made a few "acquisitions" since we've been back. The big one is a new refrigerator. The old one was given to us over eleven years ago by Jason's parents. I believe it must have been the refrigerator that was used to keep Jason's baby formula from spoiling. It was a mustard-gold, rusty monstrosity. Just recently it was beginning to develop a thin layer of slick black mold on the inside of the door. Possibly from the continuous trickle of water oozing down from the freezer? And don't get me started on the half-inch gap in the door sealant which acted as a sort of "doggy door" for the cockroaches. No, the thought of "toughing it out with the old one" for the next 3 years just was not an option.

So, sent out alone on a woman's task - to be fair, I had accompanied him to the appliance section of the Carrefour in a consulting capacity earlier in the week - my husband returned with a portable CD player, a DVD player, and the bill of sale for the new refrigerator. It arrived yesterday (dragged in by a tattooed mover prompting a few tattoo comments from Jason) and it is beautiful. Nothing fancy - just a basic top/bottom model - unlike my mother-in-law's 5 compartment model that scolds you harshly in Japanese if any door is left open for more than 30 seconds. So, if any of you in Taiwan reading this think you will be in the market for an "almost new" refrigerator in three years time, start placing your bids now.

The other acquisition is a bit creepier. As in "creepy crawly." I am a lone woman in a house full of men. Well, technically 4 boys of various sizes, temperments, and maturity levels. Over the years, I have learned to pick my battles carefully. I don't care about the toilet seat being put back down, for instance. I have actually given up the fight against gravity which seems to prevent them from lifting the damn thing in the first place. Oh, how my future daughters-in-law will curse me. I decided that that the easiest plan of action is to simply banish them from my bathroom. "Put it back in your pants and go to the other bathroom! Now!" My bathroom is the one that is conveniently located only a meter from where I lay my head on my side of the bed. Hence my intense desire for that bathroom to be as odor-free as possible. This plan is much easier to enforce and has resulted in many fewer instances of me freaking out over the "wet seat phenomenon."

Anyway, enough potty talk. So, it was with great glee that my four boys skipped out the front door last night to the "bug store" across the way. They returned almost an hour later carrying a pastic terrarium full of dirt, a small log, and, so they tell me, a male/female just-can't-wait-to-mate-and-make-more-of-themselves beetles. The boss of the beetle store inscribed the terrarium in gold pen with their latin name Dorcus Titanus Sikus. Check out the photo to see what I have to look forward to. They also purchased two Hercules bettle larvae. "They grow to be 18cm, Mom!" they informed me. I guess so long as I never hear the cry, "Mom! Have you seen my beetle?!?" Although I must steel myself against this inevitable eventuality.

I just have to keep repeating my mantra, "It's better than a puppy. It's better than a puppy. It's better than a puppy."